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Stayin’ Alive – Gotta Love the Bee Gees

February 29, 2012

It’s true two of the brothers Gibb didn’t live their lives fully – Maurice and little Andy Gibb but who doesn’t strut when they here the song “Stayin’ Alive”.

For some reason this past Sunday had this tune in my head. It was a rather odd thing because I felt like crap and had just come back from going to one of my favourite neighbourshoods for lunch and then walking the strip. The sun was shining and I was wearing my glasses which I rarely wear out. My energy was so low, my vision was a bit off and I thought they might be helpful. Because they are a long distance/reading combo, I had to forward as opposed to looking down while I was walking.

I guess I must look down more often than I realize because it was a real challenge for me to look straight ahead. What was interesting is how many people I niced looking and smiling at me. Some were even checking me out, which surprised me. Although I am attracted and think that woman wearing glasses is sexy, I didn’t really give much thought to other possiblity thinking the same thing.

Add to that experience me feeling so wiped out that every step I took and every thing I am experiencing felt like it was in slow motion. Very present and just simply there. I was witnessing things from a very different perspective and it was very interesting.

Despite the fatigue, I seem to gain a little strut in my step. Maybe because I really didn’t care much about what was happening around me. By the time I was almost done my walk and back to my car, I was experiencing the all to familar, holding back the tears what walking down the street. I managed to hold it together until I was very close to my parked car. It was a great relief to know I had a box of kleenex there to greet me:) I sobbed for a few minutes feel very powerless over how I had not slept very much the night before and how I had had so much fun on Saturday, yet pushed myself to do more than my body wanted and now I was suffering and feeling incredibly alone in my pain, yet I didn’t have the energy to seek help. I just had to carefully drive home and go laydown. What pissed me off the most is I just couldn’t fall asleep. So I had to surrender to that too.

The day before I was up a snow capped mountain snowshoeing, take a rest break and then off to a very enjoyable book reading that night. My wish was that when I retuned home and crawled into bed, I would be able to sleep in yet I woke up at 5 am exhausted and that was that.

Now it’s a few days later and I am still feeling zonked but at least I am more accepting of what is.

Then, I starting singing the Bee Gees song Stayin Alive and remember the chorus “I’m Stayin Alive” and it’s true, I am. Maybe it will be a few days or a few weeks – who knows – but I will strut my stuff again and who knows what will happen next.

Lyrics – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Vj092UgKwQ

 

 

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One Comment
  1. Bran permalink

    I find it amazing that you do so much despite the pain you are in. Jen, you occur to me as strong, powerful and fully alive.

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